Neurodiversity and Me (Black woman edition)

As a late diagnosed - having been diagnosed in my 20’s - neurodivergent person, I’ve readjusted my mentality from ‘I think I'm different’ to ‘my brain thinks differently’. Thankfully, some universities give you a screening if you think you need it. I needed it. And my suspicions were correct, but it did not make me any less me. I was one of the ‘slow’ ones in class but if I was interested in a topic, I would excel with my participation and willingness to learn.

My suspicions and signs of having dyslexia

My suspicions for dyslexia have always been there, I struggled with reading but me not liking books also made it harder. I was convinced that you could spell ‘they’ as ‘thay’ till year 8 because it wasn’t picked up in my writing. The other main factor was adding an unnecessary ‘e’ at the end of words unconsciously. The main sign - the switching of letters when spelling ‘ie’ words or ‘dg’ words. The longer the word the easier it was for my brain to flip it. It’s the same with numbers, which is called dyscalculia.

Over the years, repetition and reading books that I was interested in helped with my spelling and I hate to say it, but cutting down on screen time has definitely helped. Unfortunately, words that are not spelt phonetically are still my enemy. Also I memorise spelling most of the time which is why repetition, in the form of spelling tests, are very helpful (to me).

Things to stop telling people with dyslexia

• ‘Just check your spelling’ - Due to my mind receiving the information as it is, I won't be able to see the mistake myself.
• ‘Just try harder’ - Trust me we are trying. The frustration also makes it harder to concentrate.
• ‘You should know how to spell or read at this age’ - People with dyslexia are well aware of the literacy milestone they should be hitting.
• ‘You are just slow’ - No, my mind is literally processing words at a different speed and I am trying to correct myself at the same time.

Remember: Everyone has a different level of capacity and I am not saying I haven't worked hard to improve my comprehension skills, but there are non-condescending ways to aid a person with dyslexia and other neurodivergent traits.

Dyslexia Support

• Giving them text that is spaced out or highlighted.
• Using font sizes 12 and up.
• Highlighting key information in texts in bold or underlined or both - this is because our mind often skims and filters out information. This is great for dates/ times and locations.
• Offer to check their spelling in documents.
• Download accessible software - e.g. Text&Write software.
• Correct them without being condescending.
• Be patient.
• Don’t write dates like this: D/M/Y, but like this: Day Month Year.

As a person, who is quite confident, I have been confidently wrong a lot of times. My recurring issues are time management/ time anxiety and remembering appointments. Having e-calendar reminders set a week, a day and an hour before meetings are perfect for me and many ADHDers.

Current and former members of the Involving Young People Collective.

ADHD and me

• One of the signs that I had ADHD was that I couldn't have caffeinated coffee as it would make me fall asleep.
• Thinking I have a unique personality but I was just hyperactive with a great personality.
• Keeping still was my enemyyyy!
• Easily distracted.
• I couldn’t write or speak in a linear way (from point A to B) unless I used bullet points.
• Forgetting where I have placed things.
• Experiencing burn out.

ADHD bonus traits

• Add unique perspective.
• Confident and can be oblivious to negativity.
• Creativity has no limits.
• Never really bored due to my creativity and talkative traits.

ADHD Support

• Providing concise points or instructions for tasks and deadlines.
• Offering a stimming/fidget tool.
• Don’t call them out for stimming/fidgeting.
• Create an engaging environment.
• Allow time for breaks or breathers.
• Check ins.
• Parallel work/ work buddy.
• Ask them how they are most efficient.
• Presenting information in different formats - videos/ scribes / presentations (if available ask them about their preference on communication).

Policing Black neurodivergent actions

All my life, I have felt ‘too much’ for a lot of situations. There are many unspoken rules and cues that I miss or do not resonate with me. If I am excited about a project or opportunity, I need to downplay my emotions so people in that environment can take me seriously. I feel like, as a Black woman, I should be able to feel emotions without having a veil of how people think I should feel. As a person who is neurodivergent, it feels like I experience emotions on a different scale, especially when it comes to disappointment or being upset. Having time to process that experience is key. For me, negative experiences feel like a sticker that has been stuck on for so long 'til you see the imprint of it. Thankfully, in Esmée Fairbairn I feel like I have been able to be vocal about my experiences and change perspectives as a neurodivergent person through the Involving Young People Collective (IYPC).

Members of the Involving Young People Collective sat around a table during their away day at Esmée's office.

Joining IYPC

The Involving Young People Collective (IYPC) has been one of the few programmes that has tried to be understanding and actively aware about how their processes may be experienced by neurodivergent people. I have seen an increase in work environments doing ‘check ins’, which is either done by asking how you are feeling through numbers, colours or animals. By doing this, it switches the dialogue of ‘how are you doing’ to which my automatic response is 'fine', and it forces me to consciously think about how I would express my feelings. You are given the space to elaborate or leave it as that. I think environments that do a lot of group work should incorporate this warm up. Being in the IYPC has shown me the type of work environments I want to be in - an organisation that listens to its staff and adjusts accordingly will be one that will flourish.

Adulting & ADHD

Those who are not neurodivergent often don’t understand how difficult it can be to mentally plan and avoid mistakes or stay on top of everything. It’s like you know how much easier it is to make mistakes and there is a whole misconception that with age, you magically grow out of it. News flash!!! You don’t. I have experienced more burnouts and imposter syndrome because my perception of being an adult was to be perfect. I realised it’s because I thought adults had it together but they don’t. I don’t. Not holding yourself to those invisible standards made it easier to breathe, to exist.

Acceptance

I may need to remind myself to avoid coffee in the morning or struggle to remember where my key is from the night before, but I know that I have to remember how much I contribute as a human being and remember that I add value. Yes, making accommodations may feel like extra work, but think of it as your organisation putting in effort for a human who contributes just like everyone else. Learning the strengths of your staff members and aiding their weaknesses is what life is about - teamwork and community. You can never be an inclusive organisation if you don’t actively support those of different abilities and ways of thinking. Everyone has strengths, you just have to give them the space and tools to use them.